Courtney Rants

dear ‘rockitgirl”

you have a board, go post on it- Bastard is at this point me and patty and the guys we are playing with
and we have a slew of people lined up who are pros who dont play and “tell” tales out of class.

but your postings “anonymous” /nom de plumes/ aka’s and otherwise have turned the forum
wich i own into your own little high school female catfight andf its stupid-
youddint make the cut after 15 minutes

patty was making neck slashing signals and we were politely ( and withme less politely since ima rude- i just didn
looka t you int he eyes and tried to write without you- im used to it so its no big deal) as a unit being polite to louise who had told us she wanted you.

i really want to have an all female band- i do right now.

its my own fault for telling anyone publicly that so and so os coming to try out that anyone gets hyped up and i wont do it again.
but i didnt tell anyone about you=- louise did and it simply got out and you osind way too bitter for words

whow as that dj guy? jellybean benitez? yeah sortof like him.

Why are you here? Why are you here discussing your roomate? you have a website- are you trying to increase traffic toit?

rockitgril.com? right veruca salt.com right? go there and take your fans. this is negative and freaky and brooke and i have a poliyc of not beingnazis about deleting posts or threads, but your driving us toit because noone wants to come here and get bummed out

sure im a bitch, and sure its going to take a real fucking pro to play in this band withme and patty,patty makes neckslashing signals allthe time- shes just mor epolite about it thanme- we are assholes- and this has to be perfect for US that doesnt mean YOU suck or your friends or roomates it means this is OUR band and were goingto decide-

and in the meantime you learn plenty

people know that butyou sound so bitter

maybe go write a song about what bitch i am after your limited one week or so coming to play

its ussuallya guarantee at a bit of radio play- you wont be th e first and i can just put it on the cd of “bitch songs about me”

i lost a huge part in a movie- NOONE knows about it- the director simply didnt like me one day- and a bigger boxoffice star wanted it and i got dumped- sometimes i whinme and bitch- to myt FRIENDS-butnoone knows the details or the politics andnoonebut my closest friends ever will- ihad a done deal and was ready to work and it broke my ass and myheart to lost it to someone i considered so lame but hey you now what?
ITS NOT MY JOB TO TALKA BOUT IT.
as mucha s i want to sometimes.

as mucha s i think the bigger box office star stank up the filma nd i cant even watch it- as much as id love to tell the politics of what happened from
my perspective ) maybe inthe end i just wasnt right

ultimately it wasnt MY movie.

whatever the case- ive lost more than one movie part
and gotten a few- im proud to say for insatcne i was attached to girl interupted for a year-
and angelina came along and excuse me KICKED MY ASS and then some-thats one i can say publicly because she was simply fucking amazing and its okay by me- do you think angelina and i get into fist fights or website fights because she was simply fucking LISA as much as i was LISA she wS MORE LISA AND in fact is eternally and with a little gold man LISA? no in fact wed both love to work together and have discussed it.

class is keeping your mouth at least semi shut- the people who rejected you are the ones who notice this the most and are apt to want to work withy ou gain- the same director who screwed me i felt out of that part wants me for his next film, because, i was good and we both know i was good and i got better-
and because i kept my trap shut.

i feel tyhisis a goodmetaphor because i guess i could have pouted ( i did give louise th e litle vinatge bag winona gave me when she was courting me- for the film i did mention-ithouyght weithher winona history this was cute and full circle positive karma for all- including winona -louise- grohl- ijust liked tyhe oidea of giving her the bag) i guess i could have been really public- i could have gotten a few columm inches but in the end i would look like a LOSER.

im only mentioning LISA now because most people know- and becauseits beenw ritten about by other people and spoken of by the principals otherwise

i didnt go to rolling stone- like r Louise went to them- and i think its tacky and declasse to do so- there will be probably alot of people coming and going to the altar of bastard, until its BASTARD ofthat happens wich we happen to reallyw Ant

how the fuckl do we get you guys to stop whining when it doesnt work out?

we dont want to scare off anyone who might be magical for us with all this drama and high school and CLASSIC CLICHED FEMALE CATTY lame crap.
before somethingmagical happens or not- i wish samantha maloney played more than drums ( shes doing what sounds like an incredible project solo right now) becaue her levelof professionalism is so great- as is of course pattys. but samantha maloney, patty schemel, kristen pfaff, they seem to be in short shrift at this moment- could you do the buddha thing and just get on withyour lives or do you have to dwell in this and make it dramatic? or try to ruin it?

theres some great players out there= that are known-= paz- greta from moby – a couple japenes e people- two girls fromthis board- i think theres a third from this board actually

theres a TON of women we havent tried out yet and if nothing else maybe they all interconect through us

patty told me today corey went and made friends with nina gordon- maybe theyll play together now- it all connects

carla from rockrgrl has been especially helpful in gettin a list together. and were going to give it a major whack – weve only tried with three people

and yeah sometimes i have masturbitory fanatsies f how charismatic a person is in real life and how coool it would nbe to harness that that do not fit the reality and day to day drill and dreariness of my actual musical stakdards

and pattys

if we dont make it happen brooke willclose the bastard forum- but its still open for a reason.

doi have to get a 40page contract binding people to shut the hell up if we jam for a while and it doesn work out?and someone answer me why guys just dont kiss and tattle like this????

i
had a very romantic fantasy of rescuing certain people from
thier shitty deals and shitty management misery if they wre talented- or have shown promise andtalent at any point

kat was my idea- louise was patttys and louise wanted us to give youa shot wich we did. and you didnt cut it. is that okay? i mean why cant you deal with that? why are you still here whining? go away now/

shoo. noones trying to hurt your feelings and nothing was said- everyone got fed and a little paycheck and thier hand held and it didnt work out- the end.

int he case f kat- back inb the eighties when we first started playing together she was awesome and innovative as a gutarist ( she stillis shes just no tinterested in “commercial” songwriitng the wayi am) i think when she spoke to the NME she said one thing about me and it got blown up- wich
shes apologised for and wich i accept=-
i ahve enormous respect for kat Bjelland and wish her the major comeback and props she deserves- period.

as far as attacking you or louise or corey parks- jesus- why am i going to do that?

the more the fucking merrier- id ont have an acrimonius relationship with any males ive played with on a pro level- except the pumpkin for personal mysterious reasons ( i think he belives i stole his mojo) and nor do i with the really pro females who know they are going to make it without my heat.

im BORED of this
narcotics discussion-and im annoyed by your “aka” fake name postings about it- dont you have a guitar or somnething? go fucking play it learn it= prove im wrong and ima n asshole
its libelous ansd its bullshit- and an excuse for chemistry not working out, for reasons ill keep to myself-

i dont use them- end of story. patty doesnt use anything at all- sobriety isnt event he issue here( although perhaps its conducive to toher parts of this) level of musicianship os theissue pure and simple.

as for Post- do i really have tobe part 3 of the Post drama???????

ohcome on get over it- leave me alone, or not m go write songs about me, but shut the fuck up onmy site because thisis stupid.

i wish her a great revolution and i certainly hope i dont become a fixation for you guys in your house- youhave other things to worry about

as for YOU though – ill say this here and to your face- yoru a nice slight gal- you just arent that good of a bassist yet-not for this project-

i know you said your going to be great someday – and i hope you get there butyou arent even close yet in terms of arrangement and basslines- i think its cos you were a guitar player and you switched And ive rarely seen that work

bassists are unique in that its a totally sexual intstrument

it contains all the rythym and mystery of sex and female bassists are plentiful in bands to some degree because you can fake it after the siongs have been written

but i want a band where iw rite songs with people who are better than me and who arent judgemental and we can be in ti together- and thats just fucking the way it fucking is- and i woyuldnt ewven vbe on ths rant if yiou ahdnt posted your inciting post and whoever from your computer is posting under all these fake names and just being BITTER- you dont need ME- imnot a magic carpet ride- i need someone whose going to fucking blow me away withthiericonaclastic visionand talent and make me and patty nuts with music lust=0 and there was that one thing the first week at sir with me a post taking turns screaming that was totally genius- seems tobe lost- maybe that was the honeymoon before all the girl therapy sessions started

listen to jerry best on this demo-thats whose playing bass on the bastard demo-ifit wasnt for him the songs would never have gotten finsihed- im way too scatterbrained to arrange thatw ell- oi oi oi i wish he had tits.

the man is a GOD-listen to his rythyms – i bet his wife is really fucking happy- theman plays like a sex GOD-=

ive only ever heard one woman play that way- and listen if you have a copy at your guys’s apartnmet of the demo to his inner and outer workings- hes
older so maybe that helps=- i hope you are taking lessons ( imtaking guitar lessons twice a week because ims ick of depending on others to interpret stuff in my head and i want new chords)

but in my professional opinion technically you arent someone i can teach about music – i dont have thet ime to make the invesetment

you seem very ambitious and thats great and honestly i wish you well- but stop torturing this forum into a bitch fight its embarassing it embarasses me for women and proves the worst about us.

and remember the webmistress knows all addresses and iw ouldnt bother if shehadnt reported to me the amazng similiarity of the posts from the same address under different nom de plumes and thats just lame

when your week was up i dint say a thing and i dont plan on commentingmor ethan this post-its been four months- i havent spoken of rockitgirl except in posiitve terms- post im annoyed at because i see some greatness and then the personal stuff just fucks that up=

and the pouting and the handholding level needed from chicks is maybe toomuch to take on

i iwsh to fuck elastica had stuckit out and justine hadnt gotten that huge inheritance- christ.

and the press sometimes reads this shit-yes- but generally they take minor positive quotes from this= since there are so many NAMES flying off of one address it seemed the only way to address all the things wich are written was to write this publicly

your souring and vinegaring a good forum ( althoughentire threads were started based n peoples appearance inthis forum whatever- so ansd sos “ugly” so ans sos” plump” yeah were girls and thjat happens but christ) with your bitterness

and its my site! go away sour cream and take it like a man.

you have your own band-make it amazing.

i hopeyou talke ove the fucking world and get there- i really really do, theres toomany lost girls by the side of the road witha n empty bass or guitar case inthis culture

focus on taking out fred durst- kick HIS ass- kill trl- is trl killable? if we all put the effort in

you know idid this thing withthe calfornia semate the other day and there were people atthattable repping unions who hnestlky offer such shitty health care and runour has it that the aftra pension fund is in th ebillions yet i cant get a fourteen day detox for a drummer or a mammogram and i seethed but i shut the fuck up because we were ultimately ont he same side

your a chick- you play rock – i may not want you in this band- but im on your side and if you all waant some bullshit “allwomyn are great” support you know the site ill be recomending so dont make me do it.
go get the strokes record- or white satripes or at the drive in or emo- or fucking pinkerton

those arent perfect recordings but they are coola s shit and should inspire you to do more than bitch than youvebneen rejected by me- you were told going in that the chances were slim- just LIKE a movie i might add-

do you know how many “penny lanes” there were? how many “nurse bettys” everyone i know was a “nurse betty” for a month.
why cant there be some professional respect from you/your household for this?

our tech and one of the managers
and mye xecutive assistant ( who worked inthelegal and a and r dept at geffen for years) told me that inthe case of this bastard project the amount of handholding that has thus far been required by the women who can play at the least level of musician ship has been STUNNING- the constant handholding and phone calls and high maintenence and need to talk about …..feelings. fuck

its embarassing!

i told them to please be patient-
that this is the nature of females- especially females who have been so fucked byt he
industry- and had terrible things happen to them at tender ages and with open hearts- but that all that hand hldiong an dhighmaintenence shit might pay off if it was harnessed beautifully and turned inside out into fury and angst and etc,i n ow realize it wont- but i and patty are stumped as how to try out this list of people who wont run off at the mouth- or threaten to beat us up or come mob our site under a bunchof fake names-

the caveat being that im the boss and thats that- so the dynamics become withnon [professionals

“im gonna shove a tuna roll down her throat that bitch”

or “dont tell her ive got donuts in my purse”

just like any lame corporate boss- employee relationship=

dont tell mom=shes a bitch.

just because i am the leader int his doesnt mean i dont want a musical director who can drill ovcer and over all night un tilt he drills are right ( back when hole first started the first rythym section complained that we rehearsed too much-yikes)

doesnt mean i dont want a general- oir a great left flank- or songwriting- or chops=- but we start as the boss as me and see who earns what

BASED ON SKILL- based on fucking skill- skill skill skill

stay in ythat fucking bedrom until you csan lay the classics bacj=kwards whatever your classics are- learnh every sing int he bends and every song on nevermind and even learn some digi stuff learn to sample= mostly my advice learnb beatles sonbgs they are easy the chords are shockers butits the melkodies you will learn from

nothing beats a band-”allthe drugs int he world” could never have been a bedroom song- that came out froma jam andit tookl forever- and it should not have-i have denilitating add- and fuck- etc etc

theres still this delusion that by dint of having an instrument and an amp and being able to”play” and give attitude thats good enough- well yeah if your the donnas and your fun to like-
well its NOT good enough for me- Kitties great- as a concept and for an hour live- but i dont give a shit- iwant to prove the point never proven and i will continue to be ruthless about it

this way i KNOW people trust that when we deliver

and i believe we will-
we are delivering the veryvery best for what bastard needs to be-and i got hopped upa nd busted out names waaay to early- a common mouthy mistake of mine-= and i wont repeat it but how do i get them to treat it like any other audition>/? they come and they go and compared to most auditions its been an insanely low number of people- chili pepper guitar auditions were in the hundreds- some of those guys played for weeks with them- none of them complained= maybe because they want good reputations in thier communities- the communities of men who are pros- who recomend eachother to other jobs-maybe the chick rock worldis teensy so not getting in a band is grounds for multiple fake name ostings andthreats of violence.

is there a “i didnt get viola in shakesp[eare in love and the director is a bastard” site for name actresses?

is there a ” ididntmake the lakers this year that coach is such a fucker.com”?

i bet there wouldbe if there was such scaricty and i hope people understand the idea of Bastard is to be so good and so fine and so true and so fucking there- from nuggets to punk rock to hits to fuck you to overstatement to undertanement to all of it that scaricty in the world of female players almost ceases to exist- that is my dream and my goal.

did people who didnt get penny lane start going on camerons site and screaming about it or making up shit or implying lies about peoples personal lives because they didnt get penny lane? its a RUITHLESS business ifyou wantto get it right and iwant toget this right- and yeah in some way it is like casting an “actor” and actor whose expected t pitch in with the ideas and the process but the right chemistry with me and patso.

i see it- ihear it i taste it- bastard-

and if you dont think those record comaony heads want me solo your crazy- thats the cash cow to them-”will she go solo”ivebeen asked that for years and advisedit for years- they KNOW no all female band is going to make a real record with out studio nusicians- males playing all the parts and im so much easier to “market:” but i canalways do that- anyway there is a demo there is music and brooke i know had a listening session at home- and the feredback is great friont he companies but theyallwant an answer “isit solo”

and i keep saying” ive got to do thisother thing”

they think of this as a- an impossible task and b-not as saleable as me solo and c- never been done – because they are cynical white males and they run the world and thier nephews all play bass all day and satrt bands and get kicked out or it doesnt work -and noone complains- whats up with the bitter rejection shit?

are you really gonna be great? then fucking DO IT

learn toplay as good as any guy and stop embarassing the gender by being awkward and a novelty routine. dont come tomy house unless you can play smoke on the fuckng waater backwards and then fuck it up

i am so fucking SICK of girls who fucking own equipment whoplay a few chops and thats that- they are self proclaimed geniuses- i hate to say this buthteres 99% moreof them than there are ofus- go play with some fucking boys just for the ezxpirience and bring it back to the girls- be influential- iconaclastic- rip off wire ( always a good chestnut) what happened to chicks on speed and allthose digi bitches

i am so fucking SICKof giving a song or a cd a handicap break beacuse its women and iow ant tolike it

someone make me a comp cd with all females doing ROCK mind you not the other not pop or alt rock but advanced brassy even techno ill take if its genius-pleasse soemone sendit to brooke- i really would be appreciative- i hear aboutthese bands0-but can i have a cd thats just good and i dinthave t i give thehandicaop too? we did this with tennis we can do it with rap and with rock ( by the way speaking of cuddly novel but great cos theyre young has anyone heard jon spencers sister “muffin spencer”s band brassy? pats played it fo rme its hysterical- i also like genuinly the new muffs record alot-i may be cracking onthis ramones thing-)

so lets just dump these conversations now-= we will be deleting themn in the future because of all conversations on this board- this one has really embarassed me for my gender.

skill.

i dont care if you fly on a broonstick witha crack pipe styuck up your ass- if yoru a pro or a genius we want you.

and the girl from nj who i beliveed to be behind thebeat- ont he zep cd- maybe i got you mixed up with someone else- iw illook inmny box and recheck that your in there

i hope this provides enough information and from now on- next time you hear the “line up” thats going tobe the “line up”promise.

do NOT listen to who it is were playing with this week- it could work it could not- that doesnt mean the person is in theband, and i wont be telling who were trying anymore if it comes from them then you know they are theones leaking

sorry to have misled anyone or have jumped the gun naming names because i gte excited and hopeful- soetimes things dont work out

ill state for the record again however-= Post is a great guitar player- amn she can rockher ass off with a cocky confidence that is rare and cool and i wish to fuck she takes over theworld

shes got ot focus though. imho-thats my :”"feeling” on the matter and i hopeit happens

thanks for listening- but you know what?

IM SICK OF TALKING ABOUT MY FEELINGS

I GOT A HUNDRED HELLO KITTY PICKS AND EVEN A HELLO KITTY ROCK BOX- IT SAYS “MEOW” IN JAPANESE AND THE SOUND THRU ITIS REALLY KITTY KAT LIKE- THEY EVEN HAD SANRIO CHORDS NOT TOMENTION A SANRIO VIBRATOR

I SHOULD OPUT HTOS IN THE FANCY LIKE A PRINCESS PRIZES- THEYA RE ACTUALLY UH…MASSAGERS- BUT HELLPKITTY HSAPED PENIS HEAD MASSAGERS

patso is coming over and we will be doing a double post in two parts in my bedroom as we listen to new shit- her typing willnbe tidy and taurean andmine will be– messy

asny questions for pats or me put themin a thread and well try to answrer

also pattys goin to get a links site and i thinks am should have one too.

melissas been calling and ithink maybe certain parts of her life are coming to an end- hopefully her and sam are going to do something together

and seriously now nina gordon wants to play with corey- so see it spreads out- wh o knows whatit might breed if people sticl to the respect professional level= culd be a whole new world without fred and rapestock and without people making fun of lilith soft rock

think about that revolution man- it gives me a boner eevry day

courtney love